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Losing the ‘spark’ – three quarters of couples admit their relationship has fallen flat

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Just one in four couples admit they still have a ‘sparkle’ in their relationship, a study has revealed. Researchers polled 2,000 couples – and found many felt their passion and fizz had long gone.

One in ten said the sparkle started to fade within the first year together, and 16% said it went within months of moving in together.

And over a fifth feel they are stuck in a rut with their other half.

The survey found that the fizz starts to go flat for the average relationship after around three and a half years – but that the most popular ways of rekindling the sparkle are little surprises, romantic weekends away and regular date nights.

Fiona Hope, MD of SodaStream UK, who commissioned the research, said:

”It’s great to think that, while there are some couples struggling, many want to get that sparkle back in their relationship.

”It’s interesting to see the holidays, date nights and weekends away are being planned to try and get things back to how they were.”

More than half those polled – 57% – admit they take each other for granted and 64% say it’s hard to keep a relationship fresh once daily life gets in the way.

The biggest reason for losing the spark is the decision to opt for an early night instead of one of passion.

That is closely followed by no longer kissing each other goodbye, going on fewer ‘date nights’ and stopping the cuddles on the sofa in the evenings.

Other top ten signs of things going flat include forgetting to say ‘I love you’, going to bed at different times or spending the evening in different rooms in the house.

No longer celebrating anniversaries or Valentine’s Day, forgetting important dates and not talking about your day together also result in the sparkle fading.

Researchers also found that more than half of those polled admitted they would be happier in their relationship if they or their partner made more effort to be romantic.

A third think that going on holiday would help get some excitement back, while 26 per cent would just like to send or receive nice text messages from their other half.

Fiona added:

”We’re firm believers in the power of keeping all things fizzing, and love and relationships are no exception.

”So, in the run up to Valentine’s Day, we wanted to find out how people can keep the sparkle going in their special relationships to keep things interesting and exciting.”


1. Opting for sleep over sex
2. You stop kissing each other goodbye
3. Lack of ‘date nights’
4. You don’t go on dates anymore
5. You don’t cuddle up on the sofa
6. You forget to say ‘I love you’
7. You go to bed at different times
8. Assuming one of you will do all the chores
9. Spend the evening sitting in different rooms
10. Watch TV in separate rooms
11. Not letting each other know about plans that have been made
12. Not excited at the prospect of one-on-one time
13. You stop celebrating anniversaries
14. You don’t talk about day
15. Don’t bother with Valentine’s day
16. You forget important dates
17. Forget to say thank-you
18. Slacking on chores or doing half jobs
19. Saying ‘I love you’ out of habit rather than actually meaning
20. Is on their phone while having a conversation with you
21. The little phone calls at work stop
22. No little notes or silly texts
23. Less ‘in-jokes’
24. You dress down more when you are with each other
25. Eat at different times in the evening